his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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