she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
