Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
