1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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