Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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