My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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