Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
