Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
