I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
