I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
