Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
