I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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