do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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