he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I see more hoeing in ur future
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
