I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
