That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
