Don't you send me to vm
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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