What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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