dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
