Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
