I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i drank out of a bidet.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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