I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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