I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
