There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
