We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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