Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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