brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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