I CAN MOONWALK!
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
