Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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