i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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