She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
