hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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