M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
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her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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