I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
