Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He better not be in your backpack
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
