so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I love you. Go after that dick
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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