Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
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I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
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You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
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