they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
