He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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