is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
