you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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