i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
