Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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