what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
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There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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