either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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