I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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