One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
