Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
