i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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