dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
