if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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