Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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