Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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