He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
