i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
