Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
