I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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