I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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