Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
