My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
