Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
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gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
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We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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