I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
