Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
