I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE