i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.