took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize