We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
