our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
