If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
