So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
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I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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