She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
