im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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