hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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