I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
