Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
